New Friends

One of the first things that Laura and her team shared with me right after the conference was the awesome feedback they received from the youth and their ministry times. Jaki, Francesca and Katie prepared well for their time at the conference and it proved very fruitful.

I knew Jaki personally before the team trip and have been totally blessed by her leadership and the gifts she has brought to the team...I knew she would be awesome! But it has been extra special for me to get to know Francesca and Katie and see how these three young women worked together as a team.

Over the past 5 months of preparation and planning to come to Turkey, each of the team members has experienced their share of struggles and trials. Despite the challenges I have watched both Katie and Francesca rise to the occasion and allow the Lord to stretch them and to bring growth.

Francesca's role on the team was to choreograph and teach the youth a dance. They performed the dance at the end of the worship time for the last session for the women and it was amazing to witness. Amazing because they had only 1 day to learn it; even more amazing because they danced in unity and with hearts to please the Lord. Many of the women cried (I cried) as they watched and at the end there was a thundrous ovation...and a sense of victory.

In this blog, Francesca is going to share her experiences of the trip and her ministry time with the youth. We'll hear from Katie in a day or so.

Merhaba!

Right now Team Canada is sitting on a bus to Istanbul. I accidentally discovered that Kamil koç (pronounced Camel Coach) has wireless. Pretty exciting considering it's a 10 hour bus ride...

Yesterday we walked the streets of Ephesus. Stunning. Absolutely stunning. Ephesus was one of the 5th largest cities in the Roman Empire and is now considered to be one of the world’s most well kept ancient city. It was incredible.

At first I felt like a little kid in a candy store. Going from shelf to shelf admiring the candy. We had little audio tour guides that took us from one piece of brain candy to the next. After a while it all felt the same though. Broken down pieces of marble.

Then……

The Celus Library. I just sat there. I could have spent hours there. One of the largest libraries of the ancient world it is quite a sight to behold. Looking at pictures it’s pretty cool, but standing in the sheer glory was unlike anything I've ever experienced.

Reflecting on yesterday’s adventures I was thinking about that single moment. Just standing at the foot of the library and the intense amount of awe and respect that washed over me. It adjusted my head in how I view God. That library was immense. Absolutely huge. Ancient. Filled with the shadows of great minds and intelligence way beyond what I could ever imagine. Great debates and problems fought over, discussed, and eventually solved.

What is my God? Who is He? Why is it that I so easily am in absolute awe and wonder at a bunch of broken stones yet I will daily deny the power of the Lord in my daily walk?

As I looked past library to the landscape behind it, I sensed the same awe and wonder washed over me. The beautiful contours of the land and the breathless exposed shape of it was created by God. And that has been there much longer than Ephesus. It gave me shivers.

God has been working a lot on my heart. I don’t feel more “spiritual” which is odd for me. Usually in years past when I have a few days focused solely on God I come home feeling more spiritual. It’s been two weeks of intense God training and I don’t "feel" like that.

I do feel different, I feel deeper, but I feel down to earth. I feel like my eyes are more open, my ears hear more, and my heart loves deeper.

It’s been great being here. I must confess I didn't feel comfortable coming. Even on the way to the airport I was scared. I didn’t want to go. I knew God wanted me to go but I can't say why.

I wasn’t scared of going to a foreign country. I wasn’t afraid of traveling or anything like that. I was terrified of leading in an area of insecurity. As most of you know I’ve spent most of my life in dance. I love it. I don’t consider myself naturally talented at music. I’ve had to work way too hard at it to consider myself talented. But I consider myself naturually gifted at dancing.

But not any dancing: Irish dancing. Where are you ever going to use that again?! Not everyone can do it. It’s a very specific style of dance and it’s not incredibly popular for girls. I was only in it for 3 years but I quickly progressed to the international stage of competing (Which is almost unheard of in dancing world.).

Anyways, my job on the team was to choreograph a worship dance.

I’ve done worship dance before and it wasn’t difficult to learn it but I’ve never choreographed an entire dance alone. Nor have I had to teach it in under one day.

I know God has given me a natural gift for teaching (He’s revealed that to me) but this was WAY beyond my comfort zone.

I felt ill everytime I thought about it. I didn’t want to go. I was specifically responsible for not only the choreography but also the end product of the girl's enjoyment of the dance. EEEKKK!

I was so thoroughly attacked before this trip. “Worship is a lifestyle, not merely a medium.” “why would you waste so much time learning a single routine when you could do so much more good feeding the poor.?” On and on the list went. I felt so demolished.

These aren’t mostly lies. It is true that worship is a lifestyle. It can be through feeding the poor. Etc… but I couldn’t get my brain to justify spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars and thousands of thousands of hours on a skill when that time could be used to build an orphanage. Or to organize a campaign. or using that time to do something useful.

As I sat down to write out the “art’s talk” that I was going to give the girls I felt so ill. I was in a place where I was ready to cut out every piece of art in my life. I am a classically trained pianist and I didn’t want to do piano anymore. it wasn't worth the fight.

I sat before the Throne and asked:

“How am I supposed to talk about something that I’m struggling with. How do I move past my insecurity?”

God didn’t answer.

So I walked in faith.

I jotted down random thoughts. Thought back to my experiences of worship dance and other dance in general.

Dance teaches your heart lessons it won’t ever let your head forget.

Everything that I wrote boiled back to that main point. Every experience I’ve ever had with dance has taught my heart a lesson that my head cannot forget. If just my head learns something, my heart occasionally remembers. But when it hits the head so hard that the heart is affected, I will never forget that lesson.

As I spoke to the girls I wasn’t fully convinced. I was crying out “GOD! I feel like a hypocrite!” He didn’t answer. So I kept walking in faith.

As I taught the girls the dance they taught me more than I could ever have provided them with. Even if I had accomplished more in the dance world, the depth of my knowledge and the width of experience would not have compared with the lessons they taught me.

Sure, every teacher says that, but I haven’t been in a position where I had to teach something I felt insecure in.

The way they moved together, the way they learned together, the way they focused together. I cried. They were so wrapped up in pleasing their daddy they were completely unaware of judgment or anything else.

They were so beautiful. I had shivers everytime they danced.

I knew God was pleased. I knew He received it as a prayer, I saw walls broken down as they danced. I know that they demolished HUGE walls in my life. They had no idea. But they fought such a HUGE battle on my behalf and won.

I know that happened for the other women at the conference.

I had no idea dance was so enormous. I had no idea that God saw dancers as just important as powerful prayer warriors. But he does. He has a special covering for them. He has given them different tools but He loves what they do.

It’s so special.

When they danced they spoke to the heart of every woman in the room.
Even though they didn’t know any of their names.

When they danced they broke down walls and opened up hearts to the voice of the Lord. Even though they didn’t know what they were breaking down.

When they danced, they glorified God with their bodies as living and holy sacrifices.
Even though they weren’t feeding the poor or finding the cure for cancer.

They were so powerful as they danced together.

I don’t know if anyone will get anything out of this blog. I’m simply sharing my heart and the lessons I learned. I don’t expect anyone to understand the depth of my struggle nor the height of my understanding now. It’s ok. God took me through this journey to teach my heart something so that my head wouldn’t forget.

Much love from Turkey,

F.

Francesca was able to get the dance on video and we'll make that available on the blog soon.

Please keep praying for the team. We have one more day in Istanbul and then the long trip home.

Love & Blessings,
Rhonda